


An Unusual Bonding

by BondSlave



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 2009 verse, Establishing Relationship, M/M, Mild Language, Reboot, Slash, Spock/Kirk - Freeform, Starfleet Academy, spirk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BondSlave/pseuds/BondSlave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim finds himself, through a series of events, wanting to form a relationship with a certain stubborn Vulcan. Can they work through their differences? And can Jim really forgive Spock for getting him suspended from Star Fleet?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Library

"You've been suspended until further notice." Leonard stated, reading the paDD in his hand while Jim paced back and forth behind him.  
"I know Bones, I read the notice too!" Jim snapped, glaring at the back of his friends head. Bones had arrived not fifteen minutes earlier, stating that Jim's antics had been published on the Academy's network; a fact Jim hadn't failed notice.  
"You know what that means right? You won't get any credit for any classes you attend or any work you do. All your benefits have gone out the window until further notice." Bones stated spinning around in the chair to face his young and rather bull-headed friend.  
"Christ, Bones, I know!" Jim snapped, voice rising ever so slightly. He clenched his fist at his side and told himself that he needed to calm down. This wasn't Bones' fault. "I know. And, you know, whatever. That's okay. This is just a minor set back."  
"Jim, this suspension could last three weeks or three months. Maybe even longer. This could affect your entire career."  
"Yeah..." Jim turned and faced the window. "I know." 

Jim tried not to let the suspension dampen his spirits; it was just a minor setback. He'd uphold his challenge to Pike. He would graduate from the Academy in three years. He was going to get off this rock. He was going to see the stars. He was going to prove that he was worth something.  
But as the weeks slowly went by, and Jim found himself with very little to do, he began doubting his own self worth. Maybe he wasn't good enough. Maybe he was just a rotten kid who ruined everything he touched. Maybe he just wasn't meant to touch the stars. 

Monday afternoon found Jim sitting in a back corner of the campus library. He'd ditched the cadet uniform for civvies, and was currently losing himself in a book.  
The Library was one of the few places in the city that still had hard copies of anything. Most students just went to get the ID codes from the librarian so they could download the information onto the paDDs, but not Jim. Jim liked to read. He enjoyed sitting, and physically holding a book, turning the pages. It was always something he enjoyed.  
As a kid growing up, whenever things would get to hard, he'd hide in his room with a stack of his mother's old books. She'd at one point, quite enjoyed collecting classics. Jim had never seen her do so, so he assumed she'd stopped after he was born; but the books she'd collected were still there, still whole, and he read them.  
He'd read each and everyone one, cover to cover. There was just something calming about reading. Sitting, the weight of a book in his lap, the smell of the paper.  
When he grew up, he found that he enjoyed collecting books. His collection was small, but whenever he got sad he'd just sit and read. It was the best therapy out there in his not so humble opinion. 

While Jim read he would occasionally become aware of the people around him. There weren't many of them; most students and teachers were in the classrooms. But occasionally he'd hear someone in the next aisle, or see someone flit past, quickly looking for something. He mostly ignored all of these figures, more intent upon the story at hand.  
"Are you finished with this?" That voice. Jim felt all of his nerves tense at once, a tight tension building up at the base of his spine and skull. He closed his eyes for just a moment before tilting his head to look at the owner of the voice. His mouth thinned into a tense line.  
Spock was standing at the end of the table he'd claimed hours earlier, books tucked under one arm. He looked just as stiff and robotic as he had at the hearing. Perfect black hair resting on his stupid perfectly blank face. Those dark eyes were gazing steadily at him, and Jim suddenly felt the urge to throw the book in his hands at his face. Of course he knew, breaking the Vulcan's nose wouldn't actually make him feel better.  
Glancing down at the stack of books at the end of the table he shrugged and looked back at the pages before him.  
"Yeah, sure." He grumbled. He watched the Vulcan out of the corner of his eye. Spock removed the top two books, setting them aside neatly and picking up the book on the bottom. Jim had read it before, so parting with it wasn't actually an issue. The fact that Spock wanted it however was; but even more so, it was interesting. "You read Hollen's work?" Jim inquired, turning his gaze back to the other man. Spock was looking over the cover.  
"I've read her early works and found them fascinating. I was unaware that the library had this book in stock." He replied, brown eyes flicking up to meet blue.  
"Didn't see you as the pirate type." Jim mocked, to which Spock merely cocked a brow at him. Jim felt the tension at the base of his neck grow. God this guy made him mad. Just that fucking eyebrow move made him want to punch him in the face.  
"You assume because I am Vulcan that I cannot appreciate Hollen's works, and her desire to write of pirates?"  
"I just assumed that you would find it illogical."  
"Piracy is a people and custom that has taken place on many planets, and in many histories. I find it an interesting fact, and her writing and characters quite logical."  
"Logical?" Jim cocked his own brow.  
"Yes. The stories upon which her characters live, and the circumstances being what they are, piracy was the most logical answer." Spock stated, his shoulders shifting as though he were on the verge of shrugging. "When one has the choice to live over death, life, no matter the form upon which it takes, is always the logical one."  
"Yeah but at what cost?" Jim asked. "I mean, Goric's brother died because of her choice to become a pirate."  
"Goric's death was not caused by his sister's actions, but his own. He knew that he was going to die, he however chose to let her live." Silence hung heavy over the both of them. It stretched on as they stared at each other. Jim's brows furrowed and he opened his mouth as if to say something but then closed it. Was he really having this conversation with Spock?  
After a few more long silent moments Spock glanced down at the book in his hand.  
"Have you read this one?" He inquired, drawing Jim back from his internal struggles.  
"Huh? Oh, yeah, yes. The moment it was translated. It's good. If, if you're fond of Terroic you'll probably like it. Or, well, find it logical. Or, whatever." He shrugged. Spock gestured to the chair opposite Jim's own.  
"May I?"  
"Uh, yeah. Sure." He straightened up as Spock sat down. What was happening? Jim felt lost. Why was Spock sitting down with him? Why where they talking about books? Why did Jim no longer want to punch him in the face? "Have, have you ever read any of Grigorov's work?" He found himself asking, much to his own surprise.  
"I have not." Spock stated, his eyes darting down to the cover of the book still clasped in Jim's hands. "Are you a fan?"  
"Oh, uh, not really, I think he's kind of a bland writer." Jim stated, closing the book. "But the characters themselves are interesting. The setting is as well." He cleared his throat. Spock was eyeing him, and it was beginning to make him a little uncomfortable.  
"What does Grigorov write about?" Spock had never heard the name, and had no basis for judgment on his work. Jim blinked, and opened his mouth, slightly lost for words. How did someone explain Grigorov's work? Especially to a Vulcan?  
"Uhmn, well, Grigorov writes about the past. Mostly Earth's past. He likes to set modern characters in the past and have them struggle with past values. It's uh, a bit interesting, actually. He writes about this character, his name is Randle, and the story goes on to tell about Randle having to survive in the early 21st century. Randle is uh, he's from the future, and he gets sent back in time."  
"Time travel is impossible." Spock stated. Jim nodded.  
"No, yeah, I know, but that's what's interesting. The book is filled with so many facts, and truths, and it's kind of fun reading it knowing these truths and seeing how the impossible effects them." Jim suddenly felt rather stupid for enjoying the book so much. "Well, I guess it's an acquired taste." He shrugged. "I just really like how Randle and Turek have to deal with being stuck in a judgmental racist age."  
"He writes about a Vulcan?" Spock's brows furrowed slightly. Jim blinked.  
"Uh, yeah. Turek, he was a teacher. Or something like that. I can't really remember his back story. It's been awhile since I read the first book." Jim stated, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "I just know that Randle and Turek have to work together to try and find their way back home. I think Grigorov was inspired during his time on Vulcan. He lived there for something like ten years way back when."  
Spock nodded, filing the information away for later before turning and opening the book in front of him. Jim glanced around and frowned. What just happened?

Later that evening while Jim was working on dinner, he couldn't help but think back to the afternoon in the library. It was the weirdest exchange of his life. He hated Spock, there was no doubt about that; he was inhuman and a jackass, and yet.... Spock liked pirates. Nothing the Vulcan had said could stop Jim from coming to that conclusion. Spock liked a book series about pirates. He liked the story of a main character who broke the rules because sometimes, that's just the right thing to do. He found this fact a little more than ironic.  
As he sat to eat his dinner, he began thinking back on the book he'd been reading. He'd never really payed much attention to Turek as a character. He was logical and stiff, like every Vulcan Jim had ever met. Which wasn't many. There weren't many Vulcans in Starfleet. Spock was one of maybe four on campus. But thinking back on the series, and remembering what he could, he began to realize that Turek wasn't just logical and stiff.  
"Oh my God." Jim pressed his forehead into his hand. "It's a love story!" He stood up and walked out of the dorm room. He needed some air.


	2. Chess Game

Wednesday found Jim in the library again. He'd pulled the entire works of Grigorov from the shelves and began reading the first book in the series. His blue eyes roamed over the pages with haste, taking in the story as fast as he could. Having read it before, he felt no need to take his time. 

The stories that Grigorov wrote of followed a young human man by the name of Randle. Randle was a hard working man, who taught Earth History to Vulcan Children. Seemingly, the only person he ever talked to was a Vulcan by the name of Turek, a Vulcan professor who taught the language to young Terran children. The two were professional, and shared a taste for history, philosophy, and the seeking of knowledge.   
One day, during a mass blackout following a disaster, Randle and Turek were sent back in time, to a city far, far away. Randle, with his extensive Historical knowledge, does his best to help them cope in the distance past, while trying to keep the wary humans of yesteryear from discovering Turek's alien nature.   
The two must work together to survive, and find a way to return to their own time. They find this challenging for fear of altering the past, or changing the future. Turek is cautionary and careful, but Randle is desperate to get them back to where he belongs. They are souls who do not fit into the past. For mankind was cruel once upon a time, and Randle does not want Turek to suffer. 

Jim closed the book and rubbed his eyes. How had he never picked up on it? The way the two spoke to one another, the seemingly unexplained inside jokes. The light touches. Randle and Turek were bonded. Jim sighed and leaned back. His favorite book series just became darker than he'd ever imagined.   
Jim couldn't imagine being an inter-species couple in the early 21st century. Not only had humans not yet learned that they were not alone in the universe, but they were major bastards. They could barely handle inter-racial relations, or non-heterosexual relations. Looking back on the books, he suddenly found a new respect for Grigorov. The author who he'd thought was a dull writer was, in fact, a genius. 

The next time Jim bumped into Spock, he found a desire building up in him. A desire to spew out his discovery about Grigorov's writing, and to urge the Vulcan to read it. But would Spock enjoy it? Would Spock see the genius behind the writing? Would he be able to appreciate it? Or would he find it illogical and silly?   
Certainly he would find it illogical, Jim decided. Spock was a Vulcan; no doubt the mere idea of a romantic relationship between a human and a Vulcan would be considered illogical. Jim knew it wasn't impossible. There were a few times when humans and Vulcans had formed relationships. But it was generally frowned upon, just because the two species were so different. Jim thought it kind of laughable. He was no purist. He found alien life interesting and erotic. But Vulcans. They were so stiff, and so "above" it all.   
"I read the first book by Grigorov." Jim jumped, startled, and looked around to find Spock looking at him. When had he joined him? The two were standing in the library entrance. Jim really needed to stop zoning out.  
"Oh? And, what did you think of it?" He asked, glancing away from the Vulcan and heading into the library. Spock followed him.  
"The writing style is dry, but purposefully so." Spock pulled out the copy he'd read. "He no doubt wrote it so it could easily be translated."   
Jim glanced at the cover in the Vulcan's hands. It was written in Vulcan script. Jim's eyes widened. Well, that explained it.   
"What did you think of the story?"  
"Though time travel is impossible, the story itself is interesting."  
"Really? I, I didn't think you would like it," Jim confessed as they sat down at the table in the back of the library; the same table they'd sat together at only a few days before.  
"Because Randle is human? You must think me racist." Spock said as he laid out the books he'd brought with him. "I am not. I find humans illogical at the best of times, but interesting nonetheless."  
"Interesting?"  
"My mother is human." Spock stated simply, causing Jim to blink.  
"Wha-- Really?"  
"Yes. She was a teacher here on Earth when she met my father. She now lives on Vulcan." Spock explained. He could practically see the gears turning in Jim's head. See the conflicting images flashing behind his eyes.   
"So, you don't find the relationship in the book...illogical?"  
"No. Not at all." He stated. "The two shared many similarities. Their patterns of thinking were also similar. But their views different enough to add balance and contrast to their relationship. I've found that similar wants and thinking is needed for a stable and successful relationship."  
"Oh. Yeah." Jim nodded. "General attraction helps too," he said with a shrug. "Maybe Randle had a thing for pointy ears." He said with a smile before realizing what he'd said and clearing his throat a bit awkwardly. He really wished Spock would stop staring at him.   
"Perhaps."

The weeks passed, and Jim found himself, more often than not, sitting in the library with Spock. Their conversations had shifted from books, to goings-on around campus, to more personal, but not too personal, topics. They never spoke of the hearing, or of Jim's suspension, which Jim was thankful for. Being around Spock was nice, without Jim being reminded that it was partially because of Spock that he was suspended. 

On the days that Spock was busy, with teaching classes or whatever else he did, Jim found that he didn't like the library as much. He didn't like sitting alone in the corner. It was too quiet. Even when Spock was there, and all they did was read in silence, he didn't feel quite as alone.   
Jim was startled to find that he actually liked having Spock around. The half-Vulcan was a comfort to him, even though he didn't know why. Why did he like having Spock around? They didn't really have anything in common. Their book tastes, though similar, were on different levels. They liked different foods, different music.   
But Jim supposed that that was it. That was why he liked having Spock around. Spock challenged him. They could have long, in-depth discussions about things and Spock never made him feel stupid. Well, okay, Spock made him feel stupid, but not in a bad way. Spock never looked down on him for his opinions. Spock got him into different kinds of books, and music. Maybe that was what he liked. The freedom to be himself. 

Once afternoon, while Spock and Jim sat at their usual table, books pushed aside and forgotten, Jim found himself feeling a bit nervous. The two had started playing chess, and both were pleased to find the other a worthy opponent. They'd been playing chess almost every day for a few weeks, and Jim found this time enjoyable. He loved playing with Spock, it was challenging and fun. He loved the way Spock would subtly pout whenever he'd lose. He liked the comments he'd make whenever Jim would make a really reckless move. Jim found that he really just liked Spock.   
"Check," Spock stated, drawing Jim out of his thoughts. Jim let his eyes roam over the boards. There had to be a way out, he knew there had to be. While he studied the board, trying to figure out his next move, he decided to make the inquiry that had been bothering him for the last few days.   
"So, Spock. I was thinking, maybe one of these days we could get out of the library. Maybe go into the city. Have dinner." He said with a shrug, trying to play off the comment even though his stomach was beginning to churn. He moved his King out of check. Spock blinked at him, before turning his attention to the chess set. Jim felt his heart speed up in his chest. "Unless, you, uh, don't want to. That's fine too. I mean," he suddenly wished he hadn't said anything. The quiet was killing him.   
"There is a vegan cafe I've been meaning to go to for months." Spock stated, causing Jim to look up at him. Those brown eyes were looking right at him and he felt his heart skip a beat.  
"Oh? Really? That's, yeah that's, that would be nice. Uh." Jim felt a little giddy. "So, you want to go out then? On a date?" He rose a brow. "Cause, that's what I was suggesting. But it doesn't have to be. It could just be, you know a friend-friend thing, not a date-date thing."  
"Yes, Jim, I would like to go on a date with you." Spock stated, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly as he moved his Queen. "Checkmate." He stated leaning back and clasping his hands on the table. Jim's brows furrowed and he looked at the board. How the hell did he just lose the chess game?


	3. An Awkward First Date

"A date?"  
"Yes, a date. Why is that so hard to understand?"  
"A date? Really?"  
"Yes Bones! I date! You know when two people who like each other go out and spend time together. Yeah." Jim pulled a clean shirt over his head while Bones looked at him dumbfounded.   
"Okay, I'm confused. Two months ago you hated his guts. Loathed him. It was his fault that you got suspended in the first place. Now you two are going out to eat together?" Bones made a face. "Did I miss something?"  
"I'm not going to let that bother me. He did what he thought was right, and I'm not going to apologize for doing what I did, and we're leaving it at that. I mean, he's not such a bad guy." Jim said with a shrug as he buttoned up his pants and ran a comb over his hair.   
"I don't know Jim. This just smells of disaster."  
"Oh come on. You said you liked him."  
"Yeah because he was an asshole to you. But I'm not so sure I like him on a friendly terms kind of way. I mean, he's an ass."  
"Well, I like him." Jim stated with a smile before turning and facing his friend. "How do I look?"  
"Fine." Bones grumbled.   
"Just fine?"  
"What do you want from me? You look fine. Now go."

Jim was eager to meet up with Spock, but also quite nervous. He'd never dated someone like Spock before. He'd dated his share of men, women, and mixtures of both, aliens and humans a like. But Spock was different, SO very different. Jim wondered if he could make the date go well. Wondered if there would be more. Even though he wanted the date to go well, and liked the idea of possibly more dates in the future, he was nervous. What if it didn't go well? He didn't want to jeopardize the strange friendship they'd built.   
But when Jim met up with Spock out on the street his nervousness settled down and he smiled. Spock was dressed simply in black, and Jim wondered if the Vulcan had any color in his wardrobe at all. The two began making their way along the sidewalk shoulder to shoulder.  
"So, this vegan place, what should I expect?" Jim asked a bit nervously. Jim was NOT a vegan, and was unfamiliar with possible vegan dishes. Also, he was allergic to practically everything under the sun, and really wanted to try and avoid puffing up like a blow fish.   
"Relax Jim," Spock stated. "There will be food for you to enjoy as well."  
"Really?"   
"Yes. As you know, most restaurants do have vegetarian and vegan menus, and as such vegan restaurants do have menu items for non-vegan goers."   
Jim heaved a small sigh of relief. At least with some options he wouldn't have to worry if something was going to kill him. Glancing side long at Spock he decided that he'd have to learn more about what Vulcan's ate on a regular basis. It would make dining with Spock much easier. 

When they'd arrived at the cafe and been seated, Jim looked over the menu. There were at least three items he recognized as something he would enjoy to eat, but he spent quite a bit of time looking over the rest of the menu. He was amazed at the complexity of it all.  
"So, you can eat bread right?" He asked as he closed his menu and looked up at Spock. Spock nodded.  
"Yes. I can eat bread, though it depends entirely on the brand and where it was made."  
"I'm surprised you've survived on earth so long. It just seems... so complicated." Jim stated, almost sounding apologetic. Spock gave him a look, dark eyes gleaming with something Jim couldn't read. He closed his own menu and clasped his hands together atop it.  
"Vulcans can eat practically anything, we have extremely strong stomachs. We however choose our own foods when we can. And many places have replicators that can replicated a number of Vulcan dishes. I rarely find myself in dire straights." He took a sip of his water. "Besides, humans of practice Vegan-ism for hundreds of years. Though for awhile it may have been harder for Vulcans to eat Terran food, it would not have been impossible."   
When they ordered their food, Jim just ordered a BLT, one of the choices for non-vegan customers. He glanced at Spock, suddenly feeling quite awkward. This was strange. Why was he feeling awkward? He was James T. Kirk! He never felt awkward! He was a catch! He dated 20s for Christ sake.  
"You, don't mind if I eat bacon right?"  
"No. What you choose to put into your own body is of little concern to me. Unless of course it will cause you harm. I trust you are aware that you are not allergic to bacon?"  
"Uh yeah, no I'm, I'm not." Jim forced a smile.  
"Relax Jim." Spock's lips curled ever so slightly, and if Jim hadn't spent the last month studying the other's face he would have missed it. "You don't need to be uncomfortable. I am enjoying your company."

Once their food arrived they spoke only a little, and even though Jim was not accustom to the quiet he found himself gradually relaxing. Spock had this ability it seemed to both make him nervous and calm. It was perplexing and strange, and Jim didn't quite know what to do with the feeling. But once they'd eaten most of their food the conversation picked up. They talked briefly about their homes and the places that they grew up (nothing overly revealing, since both Spock and Jim liked keeping their secrets).   
Jim had never been to Vulcan, and had only seen pictures of some of its more famous cities and buildings. But Spock describing Shi-Kahr, the city where he was born and grew up, he couldn't help but want to see it with his own eyes. He knew Vulcan was a desert planet, and yet the way Spock spoke of it Jim couldn't help but think it was quiet lovely. Of course Spock was logical with his description, something Jim couldn't be when describing his home town.   
Jim loved his home town, it would always have a special place in his heart, but that didn't stop him from rambling about how small and boring it was. He tried to lighten the mood of his description of talking about places he'd had fun at as a child; not mentioning that he hadn't visited the places since he was ten of course.   
Upon talking about a rollerskating rink he'd enjoyed visiting as a kid he has to pause and explain what it was to Spock, who frowned and thought the entire thing illogical. Jim laughed and tried to explain why it was fun for the next thirty minutes. 

Later, as their date wound down, Jim felt himself growing more and more tense. He was sure that he'd talked to much, or made an ass out of himself. Spock wouldn't want to go on another date with him again. He'd probably ruined whatever it was they'd started to develop between them. As they arrived back on the Academy grounds his heart sank deeper and deeper till it felt like it was resting in the pit of his stomach.   
Spock glanced at Jim, and though he wasn't fantastic at reading emotions reflected in the human face, he was not totally alien to it either. He could see that Jim was troubled, and part of him, couldn't help but find it amusing.   
"That was nice." He stated, turning his attention back to their path. He could see Jim look at him from the corner of his eye.   
"It, it was."  
"Do not take my silence for dismissal Jim." Spock said turning to look at the other man. "I did enjoy myself. And I would like to spend more time with you in the future. Outside, of the library."   
Jim felt himself grin. So he hadn't totally cocked it up. Spock was still interested in seeing him, and not just in a friendly companion-esc sort of way.   
"I'm glad. I'd love to keep seeing you, both in and outside of the library. You're, interesting and kind of funny." Jim chuckled. "Though you may not see it. Thanks for accepting my offer Spock. I guess, I'll see you tomorrow?"  
"Yes. Tomorrow." Spock nodded, eyes twinkling slightly, in that way Jim had started associating with the Vulcan's way of smiling.   
"Good night then."  
"Good night."

As Jim made his way back to his dorm, he felt it strange not to have given Spock a kiss. He always gave a kiss at the end of a first date, even if it was on the cheek. It was strange not to, and yet, oddly fitting he thought. Spock was a Vulcan, and would probably not be so accepting of Jim's affections so soon. But that was okay. Jim was just glad to know Spock still wanted to see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, well, that was strange. I am so not used to writing Reboot!Verse Spirk. Oy. This is certainly an adventure. Anyway, also, I know NOTHING about vegans or vegan food. Like... I cannot wrap my mind around it, I'm just glad those of you who are vegan aren't dead. Cause, I don't know what you eat.   
> Obviously I know Spock doesn't eat cheese, eggs, meat, or anything containing that. So you know, I know it's safe to go with veggies and fruits. But I decided to keep it all kind of vague. I apologize. I'm just... not savvy on this stuff.


	4. The Important Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so apparently the formatting is weird and hard to read. I tried to fix it, if it is still being wonky please let me know.

The next day passed with silent reading, and several rounds of chess. The following day passed quite the same. And soon a week had passed, then another; and then, before Jim had realized, he'd been seeing Spock romantically for a month. 

They weren't official or anything, but they'd been dating, and spending every free moment with each other. Jim was baffled to realize that they hadn't even shared a single kiss, they'd never even held hands (not that Jim was a sappy romantic but it didn't hurt.) 

"I don't know how serious Spock is." Jim said out of the blue one evening while Bones went over some medical cases on his paDD. The country doctor looked up, brows furrowing and lips pursing slightly. He glanced towards the second bed where Jim was laying gazing up at the ceiling, book laying forgotten on his chest.   
"What the hell are you talking about, Jim?" Bones asked, causing the other man to roll onto his side, propping his chin on his hand as the book fell from his chest.  
"I've been seeing Spock for a month Bones, and we haven't even kissed."  
"God, I don't want to know about this Jim."  
"Know about what!? Nothings even happened!" Jim snapped loudly sitting up suddenly. Bones groaned and tossed his paDD aside and turned to face his obnoxious roommate directly.  
"Okay, well have you talked to Spock about, this, whatever this is?" He asked waving a hand at Jim, gesturing to all of him in a vague movement. He really didn't want to be talking about the possible sex life that could flourish between the two.   
"Well, no. I mean, I've never had to talk about these things before Bones. They just happened! If a girl was interested there was never any doubt, I'd kiss her on the first date, then she'd kiss me on the second, then bam, it just happened. No talking about it, it was just, natural." Jim said with a shrug. "And I mean, isn't that how its supposed to be? Natural? I mean, I've never had this problem before, not even with guys! It just always, kind of happened without anyone talking about it." Jim fumed. "But with Spock, I don't know. He's so hard to read, impossible really. I don't know if he'd accept a kiss, or if he wants to kiss," Jim frowned and made a face. "Do Vulcan's even kiss?"  
"Oh my God Jim, of course they do!"  
"Then why hasn't anyone ever seen them do it!?"  
"Asking that, you're asking that? For God sake Jim, their Vulcans! They're the most uptight bastards in the universe, you think they're just going to flaunt around their hanky-panky for everyone to see?"

Jim let out a loud groan of frustration and threw himself back on his bed, palms pressing against his eyes. God he felt so conflicted.  
"Bones, what am I going to do!? I've never felt so serious about anyone before. I mean, I've had my one-night stands, and I'll admit, I'm not always the best guy, sometimes I forget their names, or I forget to call them back. But, I try, and I try really, really hard!" He slid his hands down his face and let them fall back to his side on the bed. "I really like Spock, and I just, I don't know what to do."

Bones almost smiled, almost. It was kind if sickly sweet and pathetic. But he knew the look, could read the signs. Jim was in love. Real love. Make an ass of yourself, over the moon kind of love. The kind of love that would make a man squirm.   
"Look Jim, I'm no love doctor, hell, I suck at love, obviously. But if you really feel something for Spock, let him know. As smart as the guy is, or may come off to be, he's not a mind reader. Just, tell him. Tell him how you feel." Bones said with a smile. "But don't say love, it may scare him off. Just tell him that you're serious, and would like a more serious relationship. That way, he'll have to tell you if he's serious or not." He tried to sound reassuring, but when those baby-blues turned to gaze at him with so much woeful hope he felt a little nervous himself.  
"But what if he doesn't want a serious relationship Bones? What then? Spock is a great guy, and I'd like to think that we're friends. If he doesn't want a serious relationship how can I save the friendship?"

Bones sighed and shrugged his shoulders.  
"I don't know Jim. I'm not a pointy-eared-hobgoblin. But Spock is a logical fellow, and I'm sure he'd see the relationship as something to salvage." 

Jim looked back at the ceiling.  
"I hope you're right Bones."

The following evening, that is when Jim decided he'd talk to Spock about, "them". They were planning on going out to dinner again, and then a walk along the pier just to enjoy each others company; he'd find a time then.

But as the night drew on, and dinner came and went, Jim couldn't find a time to voice his questions. Certainly during the walk he'd find an opportune moment. But while they walked along the pier, the smell of cold ocean air filling their lungs, he found the story of how Spock learned how to swim to interesting to interrupt. He'd failed again to bring the question of "them" up once again. 

Jim felt his heart pounding in his chest as they walked back towards the dorms together. It was late, and Spock obviously had no other things to do. Jim marveled at the time, they'd stayed out longer then they normally did. It was unusual for Spock to return with Jim to the dorms, he'd always gone off to the science lab, or to the library for something or another. 

When they reached Jim's dorm room he paused at the door after saying good night, heart hammering in his chest and turned to look back at Spock who was waiting for him to disappear through his door. He turned around fully, not even having bothered to unlock the door, and took a deep breath. Spock cocked an eyebrow and his head tilted ever so slightly in question.  
"Spock, what exactly is this?" Jim blurted. Spock blinked, brows furrowing and obvious confusion lightening his eyes.

"I, I'm afraid I do not understand your meaning, Jim." He stated coolly. Jim took another deep breath, and decided just to lay all of his cards on the table.

"I mean us Spock. What exactly is this with 'us'?" He asked, blue eyes searching dark brown. Still there was that light of confusion. "Spock, I really like you, like, really like you." Jim stated, feeling exasperated. "You are my friend. And, even though all of the odds seemed against a friendship ever blossoming between us, it did. You are such an important part of my day to day life now, Spock. I have never had such stimulating, intelligent conversations with anyone but you. You're smart, and funny, even if you don't see why. And, I just, I thought that maybe, we could be something more." He finished feeling all of the energy leave his body, blue eyes wide as they starred at the others face. "More than just friends. I, I want a serious relationship with you Spock."

Spock was silent for a few moments, horrifying moments that made Jim feel more and more defeated and foolish. But then Spock moved forward, stepping into Jim's space. At first Jim didn't know what to expect and stepped back, his back bumping the door making him start slightly. Spock didn't move away. Jim could feel the heat radiating between their chests. Suddenly his throat felt very dry, and he swallowed only to find a lump. Part of his brain thought Spock was gonna hit him, or something awful, but the side of his brain that recognized logic told him that that was stupid. 

Spock's dark eyes flickered, looking over the other's face, from brow, to nose, to lips, then back to those stunning blue eyes. Blue eyes, Jim's eyes; they were stunning, breathe taking. Spock had never seen such intense eyes before. Of course, he'd never really payed attention until he grew closer to Jim.   
Jim, sweet, foolish, illogical James T. Kirk. He was so emotional, and expressive, and yet Spock found that his eyes were even more so. Even when Jim stood strong, jaw set, face blank, his eyes screamed his emotions. 

Spock leaned his head in slightly, and he felt Jim's breathe stutter. He hovered, their noses almost brushing.   
"I to have pondered such a relationship. You are not alone in your, desires." He whispered, voice low, and slightly horse sounding, uncertain to Jim's ears. "You must understand my reservations Jim, it is not because I do not want you, but rather that I am not certain if I should want you." Their noses brushed, and Jim's eyes fluttered slightly, but didn't close. 

In only that brief contact Spock could sense Jim's confusion, longing. It was just for a moment, and nothing clear. Just the feelings and emotions at the forefront of the others mind. Spock sucked in his bottom lip for a brief moment before releasing it.

"I am not human Jim." He stated, voice still as quiet, though a little more ragged. "I cannot show affection like other humans." Their noses brushed again, and he could sense that longing again. A brief sensation of wanting to be touched. Spock focused on Jim's eyes. "But I am willing to try. If you wish for a more, serious relationship, then I am willing to try and give that to you." Spock whispered before leaning in the rest of the way, tilting his head and pressing his lips against Jim's. 

Jim's eyes fluttered and closed, pressing back into the kiss. After a moment, Spock's eyes closed as well. He could feel the joy, the glee at acceptance, the fear that had lingered there unspoken of for so long. He could feel the affection, and the longing for more. 

Parting from the kiss, simple and sweet in Jim's mind he found himself taking a moment to gather himself. Opening his eyes he found Spock still lingering just as close. He searched those dark eyes, and couldn't help but smile.   
"We can take things slow. Just, baby steps." he whispered. "This, this was nice. This is good. I'm happy with this."  
"I am glad." Spock straightened and took a step back, but not before Jim noted the light shade of green darkening Spock's cheekbones and the tips of his ears. "Good night Jim. I will see you the day after tomorrow."

Jim's smile widened. He hated it when Spock had lectures. It was so boring to not have him around. He nodded.  
"Yeah. Good night." He turned and entered the code to unlock the door. There were no lights on inside, and Jim knew Bones was probably asleep. He slipped in quietly and closed the door behind him. He leaned against it for a few moments, eyes adjusting to the darkness and smiled. He could still feel where Spock's lips had touched his.


	5. Chapter 5

Jim spent the following day in the dorm room, reading and doing his best not to feel to lonely; the dorm room was quite without Bones around, but he was working for most of the day and wouldn’t be back until that evening. He’d pondered possibly going out for a walk, or maybe going out into the city and looking for some classic books to purchase and add to his growing collection; but in the end he’d just stayed in his pajamas, lounging on his bed reading his tattered copy of Hamlet by William Shakespeare. 

It was around noon when the comm on the desk he shared with Bone’s chimed, and drew him from his book. Setting it aside he stood and pressed the audio only button; no need for whomever it was to see him in his ratty old pajamas. 

“Kirk here,” 

“Jim,” he couldn’t quite help the flip his stomach gave at the sound of the other man’s voice.

“Spock.” He said, unable to keep the smile from splitting his face. Turning his full attention to the comm. He leaned over the desk slightly.

“I was unsure as to whether I would be able to contact you in your rooms at this hour,” 

“Oh yeah, been here all day.” Jim said, looking down at his pajamas. “Just been reading. So where are you? I thought you had lectures all day today?”

“I do. It is lunch period Jim.” Jim spun towards the clock frowning.

“Noon already? Man, I must have lost track of time.”

“So it would seem,” there was a hint of amusement laced under Spock’s usually monotone voice. Jim smiled again as he turned back to the comm. 

“So why’d you call?” 

“I called to inquire if you would be at all interested in getting together tomorrow evening,” Jim’s heart skipped a beat. “for another date.” 

“Yeah, that’d be perfect. Any thoughts on what we’d do?” 

“Seeing as I have been dictating where we have gone for the last handful of dates, perhaps you could work out the details?”  
Jim’s smiled widened.

“I think I actually have the perfect idea, can I get the details to you later tonight?” He inquired, hoping that with a little effort things would fall into place perfectly. There was a short pause on the comm. But only a short one.

“That would be fine Jim. You can contact me in my place of residence after nine PM.”

“Great. I’ll be sure to do that. Good luck with the rest of your lecture.”

“There is no such thing as luck Jim,” Jim chuckled and turn off the comm. Rolling his eyes he moved back to his bed, rolling onto it and picking up his book again, though he was no longer interested in reading, his mind to busy going over details for their date the following evening. 

Ω  
“Come on Bones, it would be perfect! It would give Spock and I a chance to be alone together, and maybe have some more time to work out more of, well, ‘this’,” Jim gestured to all of himself. “This thing between us.”

Bones was sitting at the desk chewing on a chicken sandwich and looking up at the blonde looking less than interested or sympathetic for Jim’s romantic problems. Jim huffed. “Come on Bones, please!” He gave the man a desperate look. “This could be my one chance to get closer to Spock. Please.”

“Okay, okay, enough of the groveling, its sickening,” Bones set his sandwich aside and wiped his hands on a napkin before turning in his chair and standing up. “Lucky for you, I have a date tomorrow night,” 

“What?”

Bones grinned as he poured himself a glass of water and sipped at it. 

“That’s right, I have a date, and I plan on being out all night. So you and your pointy-eared friend can have this place all to yourselves. Just, don’t do anything disgusting on my bed.” Bones stated turning a hard frown on the younger man.

“Oh thank you!” Jim grabbed the other man by the shoulders before giving him a brief hug. “You’re the best!”

“Yes I am, no just remember that you said that when the next annual exams come around.” Bones said with a small smile as the blonde turned and began moving about the dorm room.

“I’ve got to get this place cleaned.”

“Do it tomorrow,” Bones said moving back to his chicken sandwich. “I’m exhausted, and plan on going to bed soon. You’ll have all day tomorrow to clean and get this place done up however you like.”

Ω  
Jim spent most of the following day cleaning up the dorm room; neither he nor Bones were particularly messy, but with Jim out of classes he spent a lot more time in the dorm and so it had reached a level of disorder that was quite unusual, and not something that he wanted Spock to see. 

He folded all of the clean laundry and put it away, simply tossing Mccoy’s in the narrow closet that the doctor had claimed as his own; he’d have to go through everything and put it away himself. He also scrubbed down the kitchen, and bathroom within an inch of its life. By the time he was done cleaning the entire dorm room smelt of disinfectant and cleaning products. Not an overly pleasant smell, at least to Jim’s nose; and since he had no idea how the smell would affect Spock, he elected to leave the windows and the door open for a few hours while he finished up the cleaning. 

After everything had been cleaned, and aired out, Jim walked to town, picking up things for the date. He was able to do most of his shopping at a small little market, where he was sure to pick up vegetables and fruit, as well as something for himself. He wasn’t overly talented with cooking, but he wanted to give it a try; after all, freshly prepared food was still better than food out of a replicator even if they tasted virtually the same. He was sure to also pick up nibbles, because maybe they’d want to snack sometime during the date; Jim just wanted to be prepared. 

Ω  
As the evening drew on, Jim paced about the dorm room, checking and double checking on dinner, as well as doing quick once-overs of himself; Bones had assured him that he looked fine, and that the food smelt fine, and that the dorm room looked better than it had when they first moved in, but he’d left for his own date fifteen minute earlier, and could no longer offer any comfort to Jim’s jittery nerves. 

Just as he was about to check on dinner for perhaps the tenth time, the bell at the door chimed and Jim found himself spinning on his heal and marching instead towards the door. Pressing the button the door slid open and Jim couldn’t help but beam at the sight of the other man.

Spock stood on the other side of the door, looking just as crisp and neat as he always did; however this evening he’d left the black behind, and instead was dressed in a light gray sweater, and dark gray pants. It was the most casual thing Jim had ever seen the Vulcan wear, and he had to say, he found it absolutely charming. 

“Come on in,” Jim said stepping aside and letting the other man enter. 

Jim had voiced his desire to have a simple, down to earth, stay at home, old fashion American date night. Home cooked dinner, movies, snacks, and just enjoying each other’s company; Spock had been interested in the idea, much to Jim’s delight. 

“And your dorm mate won’t be back this evening?”

“Shouldn’t be,” Jim said moving around the kitchen, pulling down plates. “He has a date tonight, and if he’s lucky he won’t be back till tomorrow. Er, well I mean,”

“I understand.” Spock said moving into the kitchen as well. “I’ve been on earth since I was eighteen, I have witnessed many of your human behavior on ‘date nights’.”

“That must have been awkward.” Jim felt a bit of heat creep up the back of his neck. He could only imagine what Spock must have seen when he first joined Star Fleet. Knowing Spock better now, and knowing how proper he was, it was embarrassing to think of. 

“Not really. It is what humans do.” Spock said peeking over Jim’s shoulder. “So, what have you prepared for tonight?”

“Um well, I made a vegan friendly version of a vegetable lasagna. Um, if it isn’t, well I mean if it didn’t turn out right we can always use the replicators.” Jim said his ears turning pink; Spock was so close he could feel the warmth radiating off of his chest and over his own back. “And I also made a fruit and nut crumble biscuit looking thing,”  
“It looks fine,” Spock assured, “I’m sure it will taste fine as well.” Jim wished he had as much faith in his cooking as Spock did. 

For the most part Jim sat silent and awkward while they ate dinner. He didn’t mind the dish he’d made, though he would have liked it more with a meat sauce; what he couldn’t stand was not being able to read Spock. Spock sat at the other side of the small folding table like he was cut out of stone, expressionless; though he was eating without complaint, which Jim tried to tell himself was a good sign. But then, that evil little voice at the back of his head would tell him that Spock wasn’t complaining because it would be rude to do so. 

But Jim got a pleasant surprise when Spock finished his food and inquired if he could have seconds. Jim’s heart nearly soared. He couldn’t help but smile widely as he got Spock a second helping. Spock at this plate without comment or complaint as well, but Jim suddenly found that he didn’t mind the silence.

Ω

After dinner, Jim and Spock moved to Jim’s bed, where they sat backs against the wall, side by side, platter of the crumble cookie biscuit things Jim had made between their knees. Jim had managed to dig up a pirate movie; it was positively ancient, and not at all accurate, and more fanciful than anything else, but Spock didn’t complain and so Jim sat content. 

They nibbled at the crumble while the holovid, their shoulders pressed firmly together. While they watched, Jim would glance from the movie to Spock, trying to imagine what Spock would look like if he were a pirate. He spent far more time than was probably decent trying to imagine Spock with long dreadlocks, wrapped up in scarves and trinkets, and couldn’t help the snorting laugh he had to smother by shoving a whole crumble biscuit into his mouth. Spock shot him a sideways glance, his brow rising towards his hairline slightly at Jim’s outburst. 

As the movie progressed, and the two settled more comfortably, Spock found himself nibbling on his seventh crumble, though he couldn’t quite bring himself to care. He wasn’t hungry, but they had a pleasant taste, and Jim had made them, which compelled him to ingest more of the sweet. And while he was thinking of Jim…

Jim had intertwined their fingers at some point, Spock wasn’t sure exactly when that had happened, but now, with a biscuit still in his mouth, he couldn’t help but notice. Certainly Jim did not know the significance of such a gesture; it was innocent on his part Spock was sure. He knew he should withdraw his hand; explain to Jim why the gesture was perhaps… too forward. But another part of Spock’s brain asked ‘why bother’? They weren’t doing anything wrong. They’d both agreed to be together in a relationship, a relationship that could easily turn into a romantic one. And why should he remove his hand from Jim’s when the other’s wait and subtle warmth was so comfortable? 

“Spock? You okay?” Jim inquired, turning his attention to the other man. Spock had been gazing steadily at him for a few moments and Jim was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable, something Spock didn’t fail to pick up on; their hands were entwined, he could sense what was running through Jim’s mind just as quickly as Jim thought it. So why wasn’t he letting go? Jim was uncomfortable! Why was he still looking at him? Still holding his hand?  
Spock blinked slowly several times, inhaling slowly.

“Jim, what exactly was in those biscuits?” He inquired, voice steady, but sounding thick even to his own ears, which he could feel burning as heat rose up from his collarbone and into his face. 

“Uh, well lots of stuff. Granola, some nuts, raspberry extract and preserve, sugar, flour, and um, oh and some coco.” 

Spock blinked at Jim, and his mind quickly told him to release the other’s hand, but his body didn’t seem to want to listen to his brain anymore; though with a considerable amount of effort he managed to look away and back at the holovid, though he had no idea what was going on anymore. 

“Well, that explains it.” He said to himself.

“Explains what?” Jim inquired, blue eyes widening in confusion. Spock blinked and looked back at him; he hadn’t realized that he’d spoken out loud.

“Jim, you were perhaps unaware, but coco in any form, acts as an… an…” Spock had to close his eyes, brows furrowing slightly as he tried to get his thoughts organized. Why was this so hard? “Intoxication,” He managed to force out. Jim frowned, mouthing the word, before realization dawned. He knew what Spock was trying to tell him.

“Oh my God,” Jim gaped. “I’m so sorry!” He cried. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know! Oh my God!”

“It’s alright,” Spock tried to assure, letting his head rest lazily against the wall, eyeing the other man steadily. “You didn’t know. I’m not upset.” Spock’s eyes crinkled at the corners slightly. “Am I to assume that you also didn’t know that we’re kissing right now?” 

Jim blinked stupidly. 

“Huh?”

Spock gave Jim’s hand a slight squeeze, and Jim’s attention darted down to their entwined hands.

“Oh my God!”


End file.
